Identity

Jesus said he came to give us “life to the full,” said Karmyn Bokma at the start of the third chapel during Spiritual Emphasis Week. “So why are there so many days when we don’t feel like that? So many days I wake up and I ask, ‘is that even true?’ ”

Bokma, a pastor and speaker from Burlington, said we often put labels on ourselves that shape our identities. Being a good student, or being a good athlete, or having a lot of friends. But we can also label ourselves with our mistakes, our feelings of failure, our shortcomings.

Bokma said when she was a student, she had a summer job with Athletes in Action. During a particularly challenging training exercise her team had to complete a series of relay challenges with each team member carrying a heavy rock during their part of the challenge.

“The challenges weren’t that hard, but when it was my turn, I just kept thinking how much it sucked to have to carry the rock,” Bokma recalled. “It was so hard, and it would have been so much easier if I didn’t have to carry that rock.”

Bokma said some of the labels we carry are very good things. Being a good student. Having lots of friends. Being a good athlete. But when being a good athlete is our identity, and we have a bad game or have a bad shift, it shakes our sense of self-worth. If we don’t get invited to the party or we don’t get enough likes, we question our value. Our label gets in the way and it’s like we are carrying a rock.

The full life that is promised to us in Jesus can’t be ours when we let other labels get in the way or drag us down, she said. “How many times have I let these labels dictate how I feel about myself or how I live my life,” she said.

In the story of the burning bush in Exodus chapters 3 and 4, Moses has an encounter with God. God is present, he gives Moses a promise, he says there will be miracles, and he says that Moses cannot fail. Yet Moses still lets his identity – “I am not a good speaker” – shape his response to God. The “God of the universe” is talking to Moses, but Moses still pushes back, Bokma said.

“Someone in his past told him he was not good enough and Moses was about to let a label prevent him from participating in the story of redemption, the biggest moment in history.”

In the same verse in the gospel of John (John 10:10) where Jesus promises life to the full, he also says a thief comes to kill and destroy. That thief is what distracts you from your identity as a beloved child of God, she said.

Bokma said she was adopted as an infant into a loving family, but on her 18^th birthday, her adoptive family gave her details about her birth, and a letter from her birth mother. In the letter, her mother explained that she had given her baby up for adoption because she was single and wanted her child to have two parents. When Bokma reunited with her birth mother several years later, she learned that her mother had only known her father for a few hours and then never saw him again.

“I learned that I am here because of a rape,” Bokma said. “But in that moment, God reminded me that I am a beloved child, and that he had planned and purposed my life.” Bokma said despite the pain of that beginning, she will forever be grateful for her mother’s courage and bravery, “and participation in the plan God had for my life.

“God says the exact same thing to you,” Bokma told students. “ ‘ I made you the way you are on purpose, and you are my child. There is work that Jesus wants you to do.’

“God wants you to know that you are his. You are enough. You are loved.”

Chapel host Joel started the day with a hula hoop contest, and a student praise team led in worship with Child of Love, Cornerstone, No Longer Slaves, and Days of Elijah.

Questions for Discussion

1.      Just for fun: share if you have any other names you go by.  Any nicknames? Family names?

2.      Talk about the ideal of “labels” as a group.  How relevant do you feel that this is for students?  What are some ways we can struggle with labels?  What is a positive outcome for there being different labels that we wear (this isn’t a trick question!), and one negative outcome for there being different labels.

3.       Have a few people read out loud these passages:

-        Zephaniah 3:17, Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 3:1, Ephesians 2:10

-        What stands out to you as you hear them?

-        Take a minute to just sit and let God remind you of how loved you are.

4.      If it feels safe, share with your group a label or identity that you hold on to.  (And if someone in the group shares, the rest of the group’s job is to listen with respect and thank them for sharing!) If it feels too awkward to share, spend time praying together that we would fully and wholly experience God’s love today and feel like we don’t need to hang on to labels.